Shades of Perfection
by callmehermione
Summary: Lily and James are in their seventh year at Hogwarts, and there's something different about James this year. Written in first person, this story tells how Lily endures James's sadness and makes the best of their last year. Throughout the anguish and fru
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Changes

I hugged my parents goodbye and headed towards the wall separating the rest of the muggle world from the wizarding world, aware that it would be the last time. I remembered the first time I had ventured onto the mysterious Platform 9 ¾ and my awe at everything new. Now, as I burst through the wall, the sounds and faces around me were all familiar, surrounding me in a sense of protection I knew I could never feel at home, even with my family.

I was to be head girl this year, so I made my way over to the Head's compartment, wondering who would join me there on the trip to Hogwarts. I was fairly early, but my two best friends, Caffrey and Arianna, were already waiting for me. After the three of us embraced (it had been a long summer apart), I stepped back to look at them. Caffrey's waves of golden-blonde hair had its usual bleached highlights from the sun, and the camera that never left her side was hanging from her neck. Her mom was a photographer too, one of the very few born and raised a witch. The family had a passion for muggle cameras. Her dad being a muggle made it easier, even though it was hard for him to cope with two witches in the house.

Arianna was beaming as usual, her violet-blue eyes twinkling as she chatted about her travels during the summer. It was becoming increasingly hard to go anywhere with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his followers around every corner. Arianna, however, always managed to rise above the hardships of the time. Her quick laugh and ready humor could brighten even the gloomiest of days.

My friends insisted to walk me to my compartment, so we strolled alongside the train to the opposite end, where the prefect's and head's compartments were. Then I saw him. James Potter was the last person I wanted to see, but I could already tell there was no avoiding him. In fact, he seemed to be heading the same way we were.

He was accompanied by his three best friends: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Remus had sandy blonde hair and could be placed with Caffrey in an "overachiever" category regarding schoolwork. The two of them had an answer to every question. It just came so naturally! I had good grades, but I had to work for it. Then there was Peter, a squat, mousy-haired fellow, who was a bit of a tagalong. He certainly had more trouble keeping up with his classes than I did.

"Lily! How was your summer?" All of a sudden, Sirius had swept Caffrey, Arianna and I into a welcoming hug. Then he snatched Arianna's hands and whirled her around, clearly delighted to see her.

"Stop it!" Arianna insisted, enjoying herself as she protested. Sirius reminded me of Arianna: always ready to make me happy. She proceeded to pinch and tickle him as he fled along the platform.

Sirius Black was one of the few wizards from a strict pureblood family to be sorted into any house but Slytherin. I admired his defiance, but he was admired by most for his bold black curls, soft features and deep blue eyes.

Peter had wandered away and Remus, after saying hello, was deep in conversation with Caffrey, leaving James and I alone. There was an awkward moment of silence during which, shockingly, James didn't try to ask me on several dates. Finally, I could stand it no longer. There must be something wrong.

"So…." When there was no response from James, I proceeded, "how did _your _summer go?"

He just sighed, but whether he was deciding to answer or not or what to say I'll never know because we were interrupted by an "Allll Aboard!" and the whistle from the conductor. I resignedly made my way to my compartment, followed by a morose James. I tried to surreptitiously glance back at him, but he caught my questioning glance.

"Apparently, I've been made Head Boy," James explained.

I didn't quite know how to react. "But…but…What about Remus?" I questioned unintelligently.

James only shrugged.

On any other day, I would have been annoyed and frustrated, but today was different. _What_ was wrong with James?...Maybe I could find out?

"We have to announce the rules and duties for the new prefects," James directed.

Wait. Wait. Since when was _he_ the responsible type? This was giving me a headache. This was NOT the James I knew and loathed.

"There's definitely something up with him, but I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe it has something to do with his dad. I heard from my mom that something happened to him, but she didn't know what it was." Caffrey and I were finding a place to put our luggage before James and I would head to the Prefect's meeting to give out instructions.

I glanced down the hall at James. He was lost in thought, slumped against the wall, looking defeated. It was as though his arrogance and self-confidence had been replaced with helplessness.

And, for the first time in my life, I admitted to myself that I was worried about James Potter.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Friends Forever

"After dinner every night, we have to patrol the halls, just to make sure everyone is headed to their common room or to bed. The prefect's bathroom is on the fifth floor, and the password is 'snowy owl'. Boys' nights are Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Girls have all of the other days.

"I know it's different, but it's a new policy the staff decided to try this year. I guess some parents complained. For all I know, it could be back to co-ed by next year, but for now we have to enforce the rules. If any prefect is caught on the wrong night, the culprit will be punished and his prefect job revoked. So be careful."

James proceeded to tell the house prefects their passwords and what to do with the first years while I watched in absolute awe. Even I hadn't paid that much careful, meticulous attention to my Head Girl letter.

"Does anyone have any questions? Okay then, everyone is dismissed. Don't forget to gather the first years after Dumbledore's speech in the Great Hall!"

"James, that was…brilliant. I'm so impressed." I thought I could detect a flicker of a smile, but I couldn't be sure. He was a mystery to me this year, so withdrawn, so unlike the show-off I thought I had come to, if not tolerate, at least expect. What could possibly have happened to shatter James's image of _himself_?

James, as usual, said nothing. He left the compartment to join the other Marauders (but did that name even apply to them this year? James didn't look quite up to planning pranks.)

I smiled to myself, recollecting, as I meandered back along the cars towards where my friends were sitting. I remembered that, back in third year, the four inseparable boys had insisted upon everyone adopting their new name for themselves. Forced to comply, the school soon grew to like the name, and it stuck. Remus, Peter, Sirius, and James would always be remembered as the infamous Marauders.

When I again expressed my concerns about James and his morose mood to Ari and Caff, they only looked worried for a moment.

"I know it seems like something is really wrong, but it could be temporary. I mean, he could be over it tomorrow, yeah? I don't think there's any cause to worry. Just wait it out for now, Lil," Arianna consoled. She was so insistent that I simply pushed James to the back of my mind for the rest of the journey.

As I sat gazing out the window at the remnants of the summer crops, I absently sang to myself, which wasn't unusual for me. I thought about the upcoming year. Hogwarts was going to be different without the expectancy of spending the rest of my school years there. This was the _last one_. Everything would be different after this year. I had applied to six muggle universities, and hoped to become an Auror and work for the ministry. However fickle we found politics, the Ministry ran the wizarding world and did their best to… protect us. I sighed.

"What is it, Lily?" Caff asked. She was always willing to remedy any problem.

"Protection," I answered, turning to her. "We need it. I mean, we have each other, but what else? Sure, we have our network of support at home, too, but they could…" I trailed off. This part was hard for me. I had to get it out in the open, though. There was so much to think about, and because I thought of it, I felt like it was my responsibility to worry during the summer while I still could, before the effort to keep up the seemingly effortless grades I maintained overwhelmed me, and I was left with no room to think of anything else.

"They could just disappear. Any day, they could be gone. Some of our families don't even have wizards in them! What are _they_ supposed to do?" I sat down abruptly, suddenly aware I had been pacing the compartment. Caffrey's green and Ari's periwinkle eyes had been following me. There was silence for a few moments while the two girls considered what I had said. Then Caffrey responded, her voice wavering.

"We will always have each other. Not just the three of us, either. There's James, and Remus, and Sirius, and Peter, and Dumbledore, and everyone at school," Caffrey declared. Now her voice was getting stronger. "Sure, there're the Slytherins, like Malfoy," Caff said, and we all shuddered. "But we have _each other. _We can stick together no matter what. So can our families. They are there for us, and they're strong like we are. We will always have our support network," Caff finished, smiling triumphantly. She was right.

We returned to comfortable silence, imagining what the future could have in store for us, each of us reminiscing about our past experiences and looking forward to our last year together like we had been since we learned what best friends were really for, back in our very first year at Hogwarts.

A sugary voice startled us out of our reverie, and we jumped as the compartment door slid open to reveal a tanned face topped with scraggly black hair.

"Hello, ladies," Sirius had come to visit us, and was now talking in a supposedly seductive voice that would have charmed any younger girl but just made us laugh at him. He crammed himself between Arianna and Caffrey, the latter of which promptly trotted over to my side of the compartment and plopped down next to me, leaving Ari and Sirius to whatever pinching and tickling they felt the need to do. The problem of them ever being boyfriend-girlfriend was that neither of them could picture it. They had just been friends for too long.

"Well, we're off to change into our robes," I said, dragging Caff and Ari with me towards the changing compartments.

"You two are so _entertaining_!" Caff exclaimed about Ari and Sirius. Ari just rolled her eyes, a skill at which the three of us were adept, and I burst into giggles. Soon we were all laughing and attracting glances from every compartment. I loved having friends like these. The three of us, like the four Marauders, were inseparable. Yet every day our friendship blossomed, forever affected by James, Remus, Sirius and even little Peter.

We couldn't help it; we were a part of each other's lives, and that was never going to change. Even with Lord Voldemort's increasing power, I felt like we remained untouchable. I couldn't even fathom what would happen if anything destroyed that, or shattered the untouchable confidence that the seven of us felt.

I didn't even think about James.

Author's Note: I really hoped you like it! It's still a bit introductory, but the story will kick in here in a little while. I also apoligise if the first-person narrative is confusing or anything, but I like it because it's different. Tell me what you thought in a review and I'll hasten to post next chapter!


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